We have been helped by hundreds of people over the years — on platforms, at gates, in hotel lobbies, at the bottom of unexpected flights of stairs. Almost all of them meant well. A smaller number were genuinely good at it, and the difference between meaning well and being good at it is enormous.
Here is what the good ones do. It is a short list, and none of it is difficult.
They talk to Bev
Not to Steve, about Bev, while Bev is sitting right there. This is the one that comes up most and it is the easiest to fix. If the question is about the person in the chair, ask the person in the chair.
They ask before they touch the chair
A wheelchair is not a piece of furniture in a corridor. It is part of somebody’s personal space. Grabbing the handles and setting off is startling at best and frightening at worst. “Would you like a push?” takes two seconds.
They say what they do not know
“I’m not sure, let me find out” is a brilliant answer. “Yes, it’s fully accessible” from someone who has never looked is how you end up stuck. We would far rather wait three minutes for a real answer than act on a confident wrong one.
They know where the equipment is
The ramp, the key, the lift override, the person who is trained on the stairlift. Good venues make sure more than one person on each shift knows. Bad venues have one man called Dave, and Dave is on his break.
They do not make it a performance
Loud announcements, a small crowd, a lot of fuss about how marvellous everyone is being. We appreciate the help enormously. We would just like to receive it the way anyone else receives a service — quietly, competently, and without becoming the entertainment.
They follow through
The single best thing anybody ever does for us is the boring bit at the end: radioing ahead, ringing the next station, telling the restaurant we are coming, writing it in the book. The help that arrives is good. The help that is arranged for the next stage of the journey is what makes a trip work.
If you work somewhere the public visits and you have read this far — thank you. That list is genuinely all of it.
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